Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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