What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
