Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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