She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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