no, he came in my armpit
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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