Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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