Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
