Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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