porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
