Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize