I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize