...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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