I need help removing her.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
