Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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