Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
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I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
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Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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