I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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