What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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