with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
