Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize