Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
