Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
