i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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