all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.