eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.