Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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(208): Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores" http://tfl.nu/e2re

Replies (37) Good night (975) Bad night (8697)
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(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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(509): I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM (909): I'm scared to ask why..... (509): 1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare. http://tfl.nu/ztpp

Replies (13) Good night (4867) Bad night (963)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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(304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22

Replies (7) Good night (1079) Bad night (3378)
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(678): View more from Georgia

What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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(678): What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick. http://tfl.nu/v9tv

Replies (11) Good night (3967) Bad night (1061)
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(561): View more from Florida

Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?

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(561): Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest? http://tfl.nu/07hk

Replies (29) Good night (1103) Bad night (5778)
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(541): View more from Oregon

New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.

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(541): New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss. http://tfl.nu/x43e

Replies (11) Good night (4171) Bad night (824)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

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(712): Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore. http://tfl.nu/hjm6

Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (3333)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

Am I supposed to find that romantic?

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(412): I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts (1-412): Am I supposed to find that romantic? http://tfl.nu/carb

Replies (19) Good night (6783) Bad night (2456)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.

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(610): you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee. http://tfl.nu/x3vo

Replies (3) Good night (2373) Bad night (761)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.

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(256): I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far. http://tfl.nu/ba65

Replies (6) Good night (3781) Bad night (754)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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(503): Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight. http://tfl.nu/viha

Replies (6) Good night (1131) Bad night (551)
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(765): View more from Indiana

That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.

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(765): That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk. http://tfl.nu/c4df

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (1564)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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(301): Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. http://tfl.nu/8j3i

Replies (2) Good night (1061) Bad night (357)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike

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(301): I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike http://tfl.nu/9zq8

Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (241)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

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(260): I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then. http://tfl.nu/hywk

Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (477)

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