Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I'll teach you how to wipe better

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  (210): Dude why does my asshole itch so bad? (1-210): I'll teach you how to wipe better http://tfl.nu/7pt4
  Replies (11) Good night (515) Bad night (2514)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (571) Bad night (3250)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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  (845): Do brothers usually kiss their sisters? http://tfl.nu/7etx
  Replies (38) Good night (785) Bad night (9694)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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  (407): Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything." http://tfl.nu/1ue8
  Replies (35) Good night (17197) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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  (319): Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk. http://tfl.nu/a04b
  Replies (13) Good night (5250) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.

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  (603): He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was. http://tfl.nu/3v3c
  Replies (17) Good night (1406) Bad night (3533)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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  (773): I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger. http://tfl.nu/s2b5
  Replies (5) Good night (2665) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?

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  (706): Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son? http://tfl.nu/k5tb
  Replies (0) Good night (682) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention

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  (413): when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention http://tfl.nu/m2zs
  Replies (4) Good night (1728) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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  (740): Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom? http://tfl.nu/p5et
  Replies (9) Good night (1253) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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  (281): And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin. http://tfl.nu/b3st
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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  (630): I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo. http://tfl.nu/gaw2
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder

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  (317): So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder http://tfl.nu/lnpc
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.

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  (847): I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text. http://tfl.nu/zkwg
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.

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  (720): I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud. http://tfl.nu/er8q
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (154)

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