Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.

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  (708): Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style. http://tfl.nu/7qxu
  Replies (31) Good night (2276) Bad night (1055)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Did we have sex?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left

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  (706): Did we have sex? (1-706): No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left http://tfl.nu/lup5
  Replies (24) Good night (784) Bad night (5295)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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  (440): I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat. http://tfl.nu/xoj4
  Replies (6) Good night (1195) Bad night (3350)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.

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  (573): my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake. http://tfl.nu/nq7t
  Replies (49) Good night (2315) Bad night (4621)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.

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  (586): Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world. http://tfl.nu/7ye4
  Replies (14) Good night (4057) Bad night (885)
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  (925): View more from California

  dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning

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  (925): dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning http://tfl.nu/k939
  Replies (20) Good night (5601) Bad night (1111)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

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  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (26323) Bad night (1805)
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  (716): View more from New York

  right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable

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  (716): right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable http://tfl.nu/dvma
  Replies (14) Good night (6235) Bad night (1199)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

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  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (18388) Bad night (2866)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2284) Bad night (885)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
  Replies (9) Good night (662) Bad night (2265)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you

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  (843): Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you http://tfl.nu/1rr1
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (688)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.

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  (720): I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/gexm
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (1513)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes

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  (563): I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes http://tfl.nu/k4tx
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (317)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.

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  (815): also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up. http://tfl.nu/48dn
  Replies (1) Good night (692) Bad night (308)

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