What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
