I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
