i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
