Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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