Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
