tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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