Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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