My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
