I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
