great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
