God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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