So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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