i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
