you guys were way drunker than both of me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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