BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
