I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
