Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
