It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
