Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
