One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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