Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize