So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize