you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
