just come out here and I will go home with you...
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize