if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize