The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
