So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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