i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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