I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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