You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
