they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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