Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
