A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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